Message for May 2018
Quiet. It’s a concept that’s so frequently overlooked these days as we live in a 24/7 world of inter-connectivity and noise. Our phones are never more than a few feet away from us, bleeping and notifying us of things we often don’t even know we need notifying about. When we receive an email, there’s an implied pressure to respond immediately, a text message even more so – some phones even show when a message has been read making the pressure more intense as no one wants to feel like they’re being ignored. Top that with the inherent busy-ness and pressure of 21st century living and it’s easy to see why quiet can feel like a rare commodity. As a result, we can often feel as though our lives are filled with noise, distractions and clutter.
Many take solace in the noise as it’s a good strategy to avoid being alone in our own company as there’s a resistance to what resides beneath. There can be a fear of the silence and a fear of the emptiness that so often sits within, but also a fear of any repressed pain. Over time, people can become so fearful of being alone, even for a moment, that they fill their lives with things to do, people to see and places to go, often meaningless clutter and incongruent bits of stuff which offer little reward or comfort. Avoidance then becomes the master goal, avoiding pain, avoiding sadness, avoiding any of the difficult stuff. Of course, it’s not possible just to filter out the ‘bad’ stuff – it’s all or nothing – so the good stuff starts to get bleached away as well and, as a result, a numbness floods the soul.
Indeed, a great deal of focus in life is on eradicating the ‘bad’ stuff as we all want to eliminate unhappiness in order to open the door to happiness. Whilst we get lost in a sea of distraction we fail to see the connection between the lack of quiet and the unease we feel within. Of course, quiet doesn’t fix the imbalances, but without it we can become swamped in confusion and feel overwhelmed with the inevitable ups and downs of life.
Sometimes we need to stop avoiding and instead allow the inner turmoil to flow more freely. Sometimes it’s good to feel pain, sadness, anger or loss – it’s only by feeling these that we can begin to open up to living in a more connected and wholehearted way. Once we open up our hearts and souls, we can begin to feel joy and happiness once again as we no longer try to anaesthetise the world to make it more palatable. Allowing ourselves to live with the rawness of being alive, we can find ourselves living on the edge of life, feeling more awake and aware than ever before. It’s as though we suddenly become aware of every sound, smell and thought, and they grow and amplify, echoing with more resonance and colour than ever before.
So, we need to reach a point where we feel happy to step consciously into the quiet as it’s the quiet that can lead us to a willingness to be fully present in each and every moment. At the same time, if we do allow ourselves to fully feel the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’, we begin to realise we need both in order to feel completely alive. It’s therefore important to find ways to be quiet and to feel comfortable to let go of the need to always be doing something: to put down the phone, switch off the TV and to allow what’s inside to surface and find its own way. To deny what’s within leads to an incongruence between heart and soul that can corrode and erode the very essence of what makes us glisten and sparkle.
It can be hard to not want to resist the quiet but trying to fill it with ‘stuff’ cannot fill the void. In fact, over time it simply accentuates it. Of course, no one wants sadness or pain, but it’s an inevitable part of life. So, we need to learn the art of doing nothing, resisting the urge to fill it with distraction. It’s in these moments where true connection and inspiration resides…
Being you, only you and nothing but you look set to take centre stage throughout May as you begin to realise just how out of sync your life has become over recent months. You have spent a great deal of time trying to make sense of the intricate workings of the universe that resides within your heart and soul, trying to work out what makes you, you, what makes life so complicated and why things are the way they are. All this digging and reflection has enabled you to become more aware of your true essence, but it has also shone a spotlight on the imbalances and incongruences between how you live your life and how you intuitively know you should be living your life. ‘Should’ is perhaps rather too strong a word, but you do have a tendency to be judgemental of yourself: always feeling you should do more or be better.
Of course, this drives you forward and motivates you, but it can also leave you feeling disappointed in yourself as you are always looking ahead to where you think you should be rather than being fully aware in the present moment. Intuitively you know what ‘being you, only you and nothing but you’ means, but knowing it and living it are very different things. This can add to the disappointment as your focus remains on the gap between where you are and where you feel you need to be. Over time, this gap has grown and formed a wedge within you and this has left you feeling increasingly out of sync with both yourself and the world. Now is the time to start letting go of those judgements as they no longer serve a positive purpose. It’s time now to find new ways to let your essence flow unhindered and free…
As you continue to explore the nooks and crannies of your soul, there is a sense you are beginning to gain a much deeper understanding as to why you are the way you are. It seems you have spent a great deal of your life giving, and a great deal of your life parking your own needs and wants for the sake of others. Whilst this has enabled you to help a great many people, it has also left you struggling to connect to your true sense of self as it has become buried under things to do, people to see and places to go. May looks set to illuminate the art of self-compassion in order to inspire you to re-connect to your deeper, more intuitive side with more clarity and richness than ever before. Self-compassion isn’t self-centred or self-absorbed, it’s simply a willingness to gaze more tenderly towards yourself.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of life and fail to notice the harsh words you use towards yourself, as well as berating yourself for not doing more, being more or achieving more. Yet, when you pause and take a deep breath, you begin to realise that none of this really matters as it’s how you feel within that’s the true measure of happiness and contentment in life. If you feel depleted or overwhelmed, then it’s hard to gain any sense of happiness. Equally, if you spend all of your time focused on others, then how would you know if you are content or not? Self-compassion opens up a doorway to your soul to allow you to show love to your quirks and imperfections, as well as allowing your true gifts to flow freely. It’s time now to turn your formidable compassion towards yourself in order to bring more warmth into each and every day…
As you continue to work hard on keeping your focus on the here and now rather than on the ‘there and what if’, there is a sense you are opening up to the true enrichment and wonder of present moment awareness. Of course, you are well aware of the present moment, as the art of mindfulness is something that you have persevered with over the years. However, although you know the importance of being in the present moment, it’s unquestionably hard for you as your focus flits back and forth across space and time as you try to piece together the seemingly random and incongruent happenings of life into something coherent and palpable. You are both a bigger picture, and a finer details, kind of person, which can create paradoxes and rifts within you as you try to step back and step forward at the same time. Now, if anyone can master the art of doing both at the same time it’s you, but do you really need to?
There are times in life when digging makes sense but there are also times in life when stepping back from it all intuitively feels like the right option; maybe, by trying to do both, you are tangling yourself up in knots? It’s not necessary to always seek out the answers nor is it important to understand every single wriggle and fidget in your soul. You are naturally restless as you are creative and intuitive, and this is something to celebrate, not fix! Your focus is far-reaching, bringing you the gifts of reflection, wisdom and experience. Yet, this doesn’t mean you have to flit about constantly, it just means being mindful of where you are at any given moment. In fact, the more you rest consciously in the moment, the more you will realise just how gifted you truly are…
May looks set to be a month to take a little time to step back from the everyday humdrum in order to re-align your thoughts with your life. There are some important questions to ask of yourself over the weeks ahead in connection to what enriches you, what depletes you, what warms your soul, what doesn’t, and what you truly want. Perhaps the most important one is the latter as knowing what you truly want is surely the path towards self-awareness? After all, until you know what you truly want how can you be sure you’re living the best life possible or heading towards your dreams? There is a sense that you have been ticking along recently, but you haven’t had the time to look at the bigger picture of your life in order to think about what you truly, and wholeheartedly, want. As a result, you’ve felt a deep sense of disconnection between the life you’re living and the life you sense you could be living. Yet, the busy-ness has been a distraction, drawing your focus into keeping on keeping on, slowly eroding the magic and sparkle from your everyday world as you’ve let go of the creative enthusiasm within.
Although you may feel as though you’ve been too busy to think about what you truly want, let alone do anything about it, in truth, there has been plenty of time to ponder and contemplate, it’s just been easier for you to avoid doing so as intuitively you know that the more connected you are to what you truly want, the closer you will be to having to do something about it! Yes, you are paradoxical, just like everyone else on the planet. However, this is your moment to take a breath, to take notice and to reconnect to what you truly want as your heart and soul are dancing…
As you continue to re-align and re-shape your thoughts and beliefs, there is a sense you are beginning to realise just how influential these are on your everyday life. You are a creative and inspirational soul, and your essence is effervescent and full of fizz, yet you often keep it all corked up inside as you feel it can get in the way of you keeping on keeping on. You dam up the fizz and block the free flow of creativity in order to focus on the ‘important’ stuff of things to do, people to see and places to go. Intuitively you know that doing so leaves you feeling, for want of a better description, energetically constipated, but you’re not sure there’s any other way. As a result, you’re left wondering what life’s all about as what’s jammed up inside can’t get out and what’s outside doesn’t light up your heart and soul.
This disconnect is one you’ve lived with for quite some time and whilst you are aware of it, you have not been quite sure how to deal with it. Yet, now you are beginning to more readily explore your inner world, particularly your thoughts and beliefs, that dammed up fizz is beginning to leak out and the taste is irresistible! In short, you are beginning to realise the need to nurture more positive thoughts and beliefs, and, at the same time, to stop denying your true essence the space to fizz, bubble and buzz. You are a vibrant soul, why would you deny this of yourself? Okay, so life is sometimes easier when you focus on keeping on keeping on, but easy can leave you feeling hollow and flat. You seem ready now to re-inject the passion and buzz back into your life, just take a breath, feel the fizz rising from within and see where it takes you…
As you continue to re-shape and re-define the corners and edges of your life, you’re beginning to see just how expansive and vast your inner world actually is. You’ve always been a bigger picture thinker and your visions are rich and full of colour, texture and energy, yet, you’ve often struggled to find ways of bringing this vision into your day-to-day world as there is no clear ‘fit’. You’ve tended to see it akin to a jigsaw puzzle, so you’ve tried to fit the pieces together in perfect alignment, but when this hasn’t happened you’ve found it hard to know what to do. It’s only now, as you continue to redefine the corners and edges of your life, that you’ve realised nothing has to fit perfectly as you have the power to not only re-shape the pieces, but to redefine the puzzle!
It seems clear that you’ve been looking too closely at the finer details whilst losing sight of the bigger picture. You are not limited by what does, and does not, fit together, as nothing truly has edges! Yes, this is a tad hard to comprehend but intuitively you’ve always known this to be true. You’ve not owned this belief though as you have gone with the flow of life and with the more common and general desire to fit into neatly shaped boxes as that makes for a much easier existence. Perhaps it does, but it doesn’t give you what you intuitively sense you need now, so it’s up to you to re-write the rule book and find new ways of making the best use of your plethora of gifts and skills. Don’t be limited by what you think you know, push the boundaries and step into the terrain of your intuition as it will guide you and take you into new dimensions of possibility…
Life has been something of a whirlwind lately, a storm of somewhat epic proportions racing through your heart and soul with great intensity and vigour. On the surface, you’re still smiling even though you feel rather discombobulated and windswept within. Of course, in many ways, you’re used to your internal maelstrom as your inner world is in constant motion, but this storm has been more hearty and vivacious which has knocked you slightly off course. As a result, you are feeling a little bit lost in translation as you can’t quite condense and distil the essence of this storm into something you can articulate or explain. You feel altered and changed, as though you have gone through a metamorphosis, but you can’t find the words or the thoughts to make sense of it. This is making it very hard for you to find some stillness amongst the storm, as making sense of things is your anchor that allows you to regain your footing even during stormy seas.
It’s hard being you, living with the storm raging within and, at the same time, wearing the smiling face, as the paradox can make it hard for you to reconcile your inner world. Accessing it and letting the storm out feels far to ‘base’ and improper as that would mean letting out some very primal and earthy emotions. Yet, maybe it’s your reluctance to let the inside merge with the outside that’s the real cause of the storms and your discombobulation? After all, how can you feel centred when you’re out of sync with your own sync?! It seems important that you start to find the time to let you be you; to not feel as though you have to smile or pretend. Let go, be free. See yourself floating, expanding and at peace with yourself; feel yourself becoming one with your wondrous swirling intensity…
May looks set to be a month for diving deeply into your inner world in order to discover your exuberance, passion and creativity. You have been keeping on keeping on for a long time now and, in truth, you’re bored of it. You are fed up living in shades of grey when you know the world is full of a kaleidoscope of colours and possibilities. Whilst you are also a realist and know you can’t necessarily have everything you want, exactly as you want it, you also know that if you never try it really will never happen. Living in a monochrome world may make for an easier existence but the lack of colour has stifled your soul; you weren’t built for monotony or grey hues, nor were you born to keep on keeping on as plodding really doesn’t suit you.
Of course, there may be a desire to upend the apple cart of your life and seek out pastures new, but this isn’t necessarily a good time to be compulsive as you need some time to adjust to the energy rising up from within your heart and soul. This isn’t a time to run before you can walk, it’s a time to reconnect to the kaleidoscope within and learn how to dance once again. Once you can dance and feel a deep sense of connection with your true essence, you can begin to explore new ways to rediscover your passions and redefine your dreams. It’s a bit like that Tigger suit you’ve been wearing lately (see April), full of bounce and enthusiasm, and whilst you’re ready to unleash the tightly sprung coil in Tigger’s tail in order to burst forth into the world, it seems wise to first let yourself be Tigger to truly understand who you are. So, dive deeply within and let the dance begin…
As you continue to contemplate the ever-shifting, constantly evolving jigsaw puzzle of your life, you are beginning to open up to everything that’s truly important to you. You are something of a spontaneous, fluid visionary, so the vision of your jigsaw puzzle is never the same twice which makes it hard to know exactly where you’re heading, but you seem to have found peace with this and instead of trying to capture the full image, you are now connecting to the essence of your vision and cultivating this in order to find new ways to thrive. In short, you have stopped trying to contain the multitude of moving parts and, by allowing them to move freely, you are able to become part of the picture rather than an observer which is far more organic and enriching as you evolve at the same time as your vision evolves.
Now, whilst this all sounds wonderful, and of course, in many ways it is, there is a sense that you can still get lost in the somewhat nebulous nature of being a free-moving force in life as you do need at least an inkling of shape or definition in order to be an integrated and connected part of the bigger picture. Although you may love nothing more than getting lost in your own world of creativity, to share this gift with the world means you need to bridge the gap between where you are and where everyone else is! Yet, this doesn’t have to mean compromise, as you have the vision and innovation to find ways to do this without bending yourself out of shape. Of course, you are well mastered in this as you’ve always done it, but times are changing and this is your moment to let your ingenious, visionary self, lead the way…
As the crossroads and pathways continue to crisscross, zigzag, converge and diverge, you are growing weary of the shifts and would be forgiven for feeling as though this is a never-ending process. Of course, it is a never-ending process as life is constantly shifting, evolving and changing, but this doesn’t mean your life is on hold until the process has completed as that would make for a long wait. It seems the root of your discomfort is because these recent shifts have been considerably more intense than usual, leaving you feeling out of kilter and not quite sure if you’re coming or going (or somewhere in between). It’s understandable to feel this way, after all, how can you make sense of why things are the way they are when the way they are keeps changing?
Your frustration is palpable, but it seems important to try to find a way to let this go as it won’t help the situation, in fact, it’s only likely to intensify the shifts as your irritation agitates the currents and creates more change. You seem so embroiled in the frustration that it’s hard to see beyond it and, as a result, you feel an enormous weight on your shoulders as you can’t find a way free. However, you seem ready now to open up to a new way of living and being that feels less raw. Change is a constant in life, a fact you readily accept, so, instead of focusing on feeling like a helpless pawn in the storms of change, become the captain of your own ship and sail the seas with a sense of knowing. This won’t change the shifts, but it will set you free and allow you to breathe more deeply into life whilst allowing life to breathe deeply into you…
As you continue to ponder and contemplate your life and how you live it, you are beginning to open up to, and explore, new questions in connection to your beliefs and ideals. You have always been one to look at the bigger picture, pondering the meaning of life and wondering what it’s all about (oh, to know the answer to that question!). At the same time, your visionary nature has inspired you to think about what you truly want in life and what makes your heart sing (and sink). Of course, you haven’t been able to find all of the answers, but you have managed to gain a much stronger sense of self which has enabled you to live your life more consciously and more courageously. You may wonder what courage has to do with anything but your willingness to let your true essence flow freely, and to live the wholehearted life you know you were born to live, takes courage and great strength.
Whilst you may not, as yet, have managed to tick off all of the boxes in the ‘contented life’ section of your life manual, you are heading in the right direction. There may be challenges, hiccups, responsibilities and ‘ought’s’ that you cannot overcome, but slowly you are finding ways to thrive despite these and to let you be you. Yet, you are something of a perfectionist, so it can be hard for you to live wholeheartedly as this means openly acknowledging (and loving) your quirks and imperfections, as well as your strengths. These make you, you, so denying them leads to imbalance. Instead, try leaning into them, loving them and acknowledging the important role they play in your life as they are the force that will enable you to grow, flourish and thrive…
May looks set to be a month of clarity and confirmation for you as you start to see yourself and your life from a new perspective. It’s as though you are beginning to see your life through fresh eyes and step beyond the weariness of trying to be the you that others want you to be. Of course, if you stop being the version of you that others want you to be, that leaves you with one option: being yourself. This may sound obvious, but it’s a little bamboozling as it’s been so long since you’ve been you and nothing but you, you may wonder what on earth you’re going to be left with. For much of your life, you have willingly bent yourself into all kinds of shapes for others, and this has left you depleted.
It seems wise to contemplate why you are always so keen to bend, flex and dance to other people’s tunes – is it a genuine altruistic nature or are you hiding? Well, you clearly are a giving and loving soul, but perhaps there is a little bit of hiding as well? After all, when you are being everything to everyone else, you don’t have to think about what you truly want from life. Well, in truth, you do think about what you truly want, but you’re too busy being distracted to possibly have the time to do anything about it. This is human nature, as opening up to what you truly want will mean change and you’re just not sure if you’re ready for that. However, know that your future is still expanding, and your creative passion is surging up from deep within looking for ways to be expressed; it’s time now to let it surface, to befriend it and to let it lead the way from here to there…