It’s hard not to notice a growing restlessness and deepening sense of despondency rising up within our hearts and souls. As someone with significant long-term health problems, in need of social care, social housing and welfare benefits, I’ve felt the divide between the have’s and the have-not’s grow to exponential proportions. I’ve heard the term
Read More ...Chronic Illness
Falling Off The Edge
At the end of 2015, I wrote about ‘the year I broke’, an intense and challenging year of my life where I felt as though my heart and soul had been ripped out from the fabric of my being, then torn to shreds and trampled upon. I fell apart, broke, disintegrated and found myself laying
Read More ...A New Foundation…
Over the last couple of years, I’ve had a much more conscious and awakened relationship with myself. In many ways, it wasn’t a choice as, due to my spiralling ill-health, I shattered and fell apart on every level of my being. In truth it was an inevitable conclusion to reach as I’ve resisted aspects of
Read More ...Building My Own House
I have always been blessed with a bright, colourful and vivid imagination. When I closed my eyes, a new world would come to life that was rich and diverse, fragrant and vibrant. I took my imagination for granted until the day I couldn’t anymore. These days my inner world is considerably starker as I have
Read More ...Courage
Sometimes we have to listen to the voice within and let it be heard; it’s a part of us after all. I did that last night, I was the lowest I’ve been in many many months and I felt myself slip into the gap between here and there, feeling no life within me and questioning
Read More ...It Is What It Is
As I continue to tenderly caress the scars and wounds in my soul whilst continuing to learn to lovingly accept my (seemingly many) frailties and imperfections, I’ve reached a point of compassionate assertion within. It’s hard to describe ‘compassionate assertion’ and the phrase doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but it’s the best I could
Read More ...The Good Old Positive Mental Attitude
I’m not sure if I’m the only one with a long-term chronic condition that feels the way I do. Am I the only one feeling rather fed up with the PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) brigade? Feeling exasperated at the suggestion I should just smile, suck it up and think positive. Am I alone in having
Read More ...The Fight Goes On…
As the junior doctors continue to stand up for their rights and for the future of the NHS, I feel a rising sense of frustration that, no matter what they do, the government won’t listen. As a frequent flyer in the NHS, I see a great many doctors. As a disabled, long-term sick person I
Read More ...My Wheelchair Adventure & The Art of Allowing
I need a wheelchair. I can’t say I’m particularly proud of that statement, but it’s the truth. It’s not a long held dream of mine. My body is now too fragile and damaged and I can’t keep landing in ungraceful heaps on the floor. Obviously I’m hopeful I want have to spend the rest of
Read More ...Getting Over Myself
The last twelve months have, without doubt, been the hardest twelve months of my life. I’ve had to face the reality of being me and it’s not been easy. In fact, it’s been nauseatingly painful and exquisitely raw as I’ve realised just how desperately fragile I am. I’ve always been strong emotionally and spiritually, but
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