Lost and Alone

Many of those walking the path towards self-awareness and self-knowing are feeling increasingly isolated and alone. It can sometimes be hard to gain a sense of Self or a sense of knowing when the world is spinning, shifting and changing so intensely, yet, at the same time, intuitively we know that through this chaos, clarity comes.

Depression is usually associated with the emotions: sometimes a chemical imbalance in the body and sometimes a reactive response to life challenges. Some feel so much that they feel like they have no filters and feel overwhelmed as a result, but others feel nothing at all; a kind of emptiness and hollowness inside. Yet, there is another kind of depression, and this is so frequently overlooked: it is connected to the spiritual and it comes in all shapes and sizes, tending to result from an overwhelming sense of disconnection from the Whole. It comes from the desire to find meaning or belonging, but simply feeling more lost or alone than ever.

In our quest to find meaning, purpose and a sense of belonging in life, it seems inevitable that we will walk down some long, arduous and painful long dark nights of the soul. Of course, intuitively we understand this, but when we find ourselves in such a place it is hard not to feel alone, isolated and disconnected. We look around to others for understanding and compassion, but we often only find sleepwalkers and those content to amble through life without ever really lifting up their heads to even contemplate, let alone seek out, more meaning to life.

As a result, it is easy to understand why so many seeking spiritual union find themselves feeling so alone; although we intrinsically know that the union we seek is with God, it is inherently human to want to walk such a path with others. When we struggle to find truly like-minded souls, we can feel isolated and begin to question ourselves and our lives on an even deeper level, leaving us feeling tied up in knots rather than bathing in the bliss that we know is possible.

Perhaps spiritual depression is a part of the different ‘stages’ of faith, after all so many of us have walked varied paths in life to get to where we are now. Many of us have struggled with religion and tried to seek out meaning in the new age, and yet we have still not quite found ‘Utopia’ when it comes to spiritual enrichment. When we reach a point of realisation of the ‘bigger issues’ and know that ultimately we stand alone with God, we can falter and feel the pain of stepping free from the flock; we can suddenly feel quite vulnerable and exposed, and although we know that God is with us always, as human beings, we can struggle with this immensely.

Maybe we should take heart to know that there are many feeling this way at the current time. Knowing that we are not alone warms the heart, and yet, in truth, this is not the kind of reassurance we need as to step from spiritual depression to a state of harmony and balance, we need to be free of the need for reassurance in the first place. It is therefore no wonder that so many of us are tied up in knots as on one hand the human side of our nature wants comfort, balance and a sense of belonging, but the continually expanding spiritual side of our natures wants to be free and at one with the Whole, not only taking us beyond the need for belonging but beyond the concept as well, for once in such a space, we intrinsically step into a space of knowing and wholeness, and the human frailties suddenly shift away from intensity and depression to balance.

We can sometimes feel torn in two trying to find balance between the human and the spiritual, but it is only by ‘letting go’ that we can finally touch the peace that we seek. Standing in betwixt such a dichotomy isn’t easy, particularly when we know that we have to move through it in order to evolve. Many step back and walk away, preferring instead to hold on to the familiar, but there are those of us that have walked on, facing the winds, the rain, the cold and the unknown head-on, and although there seems to be little respite or shelter from the storm, when we pause and look back we realise just how far we have come.

Of course, knowing we have made progress is reassuring but when we feel isolated, alone, disconnected and spiritually depressed, it can be hard to feel euphoric or elated at the same time. All we can do is our best to ride the waves and weather the storm as we carry on and allow the lighthouse in our souls to lead the way. Although there are times when the light is dim or out of view, we inherently know that we are walking the right path. Sometimes, we have to feel more alone and isolated in order to strip back the layers and reach down into our cores, for once we are stripped back and bare, we can then feel the true joy of divinity in ourselves and in our lives.

Many dance in love and light, but in many ways, this is an avoidance strategy of facing Truth and the true neutrality and duality of the Universe. Like a day without a night, without dark or pain, there is no context to love, so we need to embrace the full spectrum in order to find equilibrium within. This is a challenging process as it takes us through spiritual depression, isolation and confusion, but when we reach the other side, we face a new dawn of incredible beauty and stillness; it is a dawn of self-realisation, balance, connection and joy as we no longer feel the pressure of disconnection but we feel a true sense of being fully awakened and an integral and vibrant part of the Whole…